‘Gone to Vegas. Be back soon. Love, Steve.’ That was it. The Note. The Note left for my parents to find when they returned from the annual family trip. The Note that would change my family dynamic forever. The Note. Just a few words scrawled across the notebook my mom kept by the phone for important messages. It was just sitting there. Waiting. Waiting for my parents to read it, process it, then reach full potential freak-out mode.
Now, the Note itself wasn't the bombshell. For my mom, it was that her oldest son ran off to some chapel in Las Vegas, the sin capital of the world, with a woman—no, a girl—that he had been dating for two weeks. A girl that my mom had met the day she was leaving for the family trip. A girl that was now married to her son by some knock-off Elvis impersonator. A girl that was now an addition to the family. A girl that would be a change in my mom's very own life.
Enter conflict. My mom is a petite woman, 5'3" with long dark hair (only because she dyes it, but I'm not supposed to know that) and deep set dark brown eyes. Well, this petite woman has an explosive button that is pushed whenever change is present. My mom doesn't do well with change-any kind of change. That includes change from a dollar, change in temperature, and changes in life-especially the unexpected ones.
I thought after she had finished reading that note about 1,000 times, she would need to go to an oral surgeon to get her jaw back in working order, since it hit the floor so hard and so fast. I watched her face change from exhaustion, to ghostly white, to sickly green, to purple with fury. It looked nearly like a kaleidoscope picture. Only, for me, there was a fear-factor attached instead of a feeling of awe and pleasure from the beauty that a REAL kaleidoscope brings. The fear always follows once something has triggered that explosive button in my mom.
Then the screaming came.
“What on EARTH was he thinking?!?! He doesn’t know that girl well enough to even say her last name! My goodness, how could someone DO something like this? He was raised better, I tell you. He was raised better!”
My remaining brothers and my dad quickly scattered from the room like cock-roaches running from the light. My reaction time has never been as good as theirs. I got left in the wake of her rampage. But at least I made it out to tell the tale.
Steven, my brother that left the massive destruction in my mom’s life, returned the next morning to find my mom completely calm and a letter waiting for him with his name on it. The letters my mom gave out were one of two things: 1) absolute joy in any accomplishment or 2) absolute disappointment in anything she considered a failure. Let’s just say his letter wasn’t in category number one.
“So, you’re married now?” my mom asked once Steven had had a chance to gather some of his things from the house.
“Yep.”
“Well, I hope everything works out for you. I think you were crazy to jump into something so fast, but I do hope the best for you.”
“Thanks.”
And that was that. The turmoil that my mom faced for those few days was apparent in every step she took and every sound she made, but as she has gotten to know my sister-in-law (even if she was married into the family by a knock-off Elvis impersonator) she has changed her perspective. My mom has come to terms with her own initial conflict and been able to be at peace with my brother’s decision. In fact, my sister-in-law has been one of the craziest, but most exciting additions to the family. She has leaned on my mom and my mom has leaned on her through the years. All in a nutshell, the internal conflict for my mom, although apparent to everyone, was a means for her to open her arms to an unexpected change. And actually LIKE it.
